F R O M L O R I . . .
Here it is. The last ‘official’ blog. Our mission statement (lord, how I choke on corporate lingo) was to lose 100 pounds each in a year. The year is over. So weird. I didn’t even remember it was my 1-year anniversary of surgery on October 21, aka Back to the Future Day (look it up – I can’t Google for you forever).
I did not lose 100 pounds in a year. I lost 82.5 and that’s just dandy with me. And likely to Brad’s annoyance, I have that ace up my sleeve that I lost 21 pounds in the 3 weeks prior to surgery on the liquid diet. Also, when people ask how much I’ve lost, it’s always more fun to say from my highest weight, and if that’s the case, I’ve lost 124 lbs.
Yes, I feel great. It is a wonderful feeling to wake up in the morning not hating myself. It is a wonderful feeling to like all the clothes hanging in my closet. It’s wonderful to know that I can make my way out into the world and blend in if I want to. It was exhausting ‘being ready’ for judgement. You might wonder why I was ready for that all the time. Because it’s there. And it’s true. And if I wasn’t ready for it, it hurt more than if I was. And if an overweight person tells you that, even if you’ve never experienced it, believe them. The stereotypical beliefs about fat people are out there and even as a somewhat regular-sized woman now, I still see it but from a different angle.
What can I tell you about losing weight that you’ve never heard before? Well, I used to focus on some little things that in retrospect, didn’t serve me well. For example, I use French vanilla creamer in my coffee. I love my morning coffee. I never get tired of how amazing it tastes and makes me feel. The ritual, the caffeine, the creamer… bring it on! On of my previous weight loss adventures, I tried everything to not use that creamer. I was getting recipes off the ‘net, I was buying sugar free vanilla flavouring from Starbucks and it was never the same. Not close enough by a long shot. So I changed the way I looked at it. That creamer brings me joy and satisfaction every morning. I decided that I’d work it into my ‘calorie budget’ daily and enjoy the hell out of it.
It’s the big things that make the differences. Getting your head straight. Knowing it’s a marathon. Being patient when your weight stalls for the 18th time. Committing to this for a lifetime.
I believe banning one or more kinds of foods isn’t helpful. It’s been proven time and time again that when we are deprived of something, we want it more. Having worked with a nutritionist for over 2 years now, it’s about balance and moderation. I bought the book ‘Wheat Belly’ like almost everyone else a while back and thought that would be the magic answer. It wasn’t. Not for me.
The Weight Management Program takes your health damn seriously. Along with the nutritionist comes a nurse, your family doctor, a psychologist and a surgeon, not to mention support meetings and online resources. You are required to have regular blood tests for at least a year after surgery. I need to always focus on protein first. I will take prenatal vitamins and calcium supplements for the rest of my life due to possible malabsorption issues associated with gastric bypass surgery. Oh, and Vitamin D. Every doctor I know says anyone living where we do should have take Vitamin D.
Doing all that means I love and respect myself. You know how I love to harp on self love. Call it self care if it makes you feel less oogie. I’m still regularly trying to drill it into Brad’s head and he’s still not paying me $180/hour for it. I don’t mean the old chestnuts like, “Go have a bubble bath and call a friend.” I mean real life shit. You’ve been out doing errands for hours. You get in the door and have 47 things to do, put away, deal with, etc. But you’re hungry and you have to pee. For the love of all things holy, GO PEE and HAVE A SNACK. It seems insignificant, but you do that over and over and you change your neuro pathways. You are saying, “I come first and that includes both my physical and mental needs.” Trust me, the frozen groceries won’t give a damn if you leave them in the car for half an hour. TAKE CARE OF YOU. It’s not selfish. Never forget that they always say to don your oxygen mask before helping others. TRUTH.
Brad & I are going to continue to chip away at our weight and will be blogging once a month after this… or I may change my mind and blog whenever the hell I feel like it. Ha!
Brad, let’s keep going. 58 pounds is fucking amazing and if you minimize it or feel disappointed in yourself, I will find you and I will kill you. With love. Killing you softly, if you will. Thank you for being my weight loss buddy and confidant.
And dear Reader, thank you for your kindness in visiting with us on Tuesday mornings. Knowing you’re there feels ever so fine.
Pounds lost this week: 1.3
Total year long weight loss: 82.5
F R O M B R A D . . .
Lori messaged me yesterday that she had a draft of this week’s blog on the site. She annoyingly does this every week to get me to start mine. I usually jump right in and read her draft, and sometimes that helps me with getting my brain going for my blog. Since this is the last official blog (does anybody believe Lori will stop blogging? Really? Seriously? ) of our journey I decided not to read her blog first, just do mine and then see how it compares to hers. I said journey in that last sentence because I know it puckers her pucker hole when I call it a journey. I mean, if you can’t pucker your friends pucker hole, what’s the point of being friends?
Our goal was to each lose 100 pounds in a year. I did not. Since October 31, 2015 I have lost 58 pounds. In report card terms that is a D. I just squeaked by. Part of me is disappointed but most of me is happy. First, I’m 58 pounds lighter than I was. Second, for the final two and a half months I was unable to exercise at all, but I managed to lose all my vacation weight, plus a couple more pounds. There is a very high chance that not doing the FFF blog, I would have started gaining weight like a pony, when I became immobilized and a little depressed. I didn’t. Being accountable and having the support of the blog, I believe, has had a lifelong effect on me and my perception of me, my life, and the way I deal with both stress and success.
I’m really no longer that fussed about food. I order dressing on the side, like a girl. I eat half the entrée and get a take home container, like a girl. Now ladies let’s not get in a huff here. I realize that there are about 6 guys and 700 women that follow the blog. Let me be clear here. When I say “like a girl” I mean a girl on a first date or at a brunch with her skinny bitch friends. Not that sexy, ponytail, scrunchy-twisting, sweatpants wearing, Rom-Com watching, Haagen-Dazs pile driver we all know and love. I’m her as well, just only now and then. I have a funny feeling Lori didn’t go in this direction.
Speaking of girlie stuff, I can only assume Lori’s last blog, at some point, dealt with loving yourself. She and I have not seen eye-to-eye on this one. I haven’t gotten there yet. My therapist is good, but for God’s sake she’s got a Mercedes payment every month. No need to rush. Always check what the therapist is driving. I’ll be continuing my therapy sessions. I gain perspective most days.
I believe Lori’s 80+ pound weight loss managed a solid B+. If I was the teacher I’d give her an A for helping other classmates with their work. Over the last year she has definitely pulled me out of an F on occasion. If you know Lori and have the opportunity to spend time with her you will see that she truly is a changed person. Not just her size but her whole being. She has a joyful, sweat-free aura about her now. We’re talking about doing a once a month blog just to keep on track. I will blog once a month until I lose the other 42 pounds. Just to keep you motivated to follow along, when I reach my 100 pound goal there may be some tasteful boudoir pics posted. I’m hoping it doesn’t take another year, but it might. Over the last few days my leg and back pain has decreased in a noticeable way. I suspect it’s my new transverse abdominis muscles. Ha! More likely the painkillers. I’ll try not to overdue anything, and hopefully be exercising regularly in a month or two. Just in time for the attack of the Christmas feasts.
Thanks for following along folks. It’s been frustrating sometimes but mostly a fun and interesting JOURNEY.
Pounds lost this week: 1.5
Total year long weight loss: 58